Pain

#Beingaleader means you have to endure pain. Emotional. Mental. From internal and external sources. Pain seems to be part of the job. The more you recognize that fact the better prepared you will be to handle it when it happens.

Emotional pain is the type of pain that comes from the people who love us the most. They get close and when they hurt you it hurts the most. In leadership, you have had those experiences at some point where members of your team disappoint you, where they lash out at you for a decision you’ve made, or actually actively worked against you. This is painful. Perhaps feels like betrayal. I’m just here to tell you it’s normal and you should expect it. Not cynically. Just realistically.

Mental pain. This is the type of pain from stress, worrying, being overwhelmed, too much to do and too little time in which to do it. But the pain is still real. You feel it. You carry it. Again, it’s normal. Mental pain is something you can better manage and learn to deal with perhaps because it is something you have more control over. For example, keeping a good calendar and to-do list can greatly diminish many stresses. Setting goals and keeping yourself accountable will help alleviate this.

Internal and external sources. Some people’s worst pain comes from themselves. They kick themselves for mistakes made and they harbor self-doubt and/or loathing for an action they took or a consequence that is their fault. This isn’t a counseling blog but I find this the toughest to deal with. The best way I’ve found is to acknowledge the issue or mistake and then move on. Forgiving yourself or simply learning from it and moving toward the next goal. Dwelling on the mistake becomes death to progress.

Other times you absorb the pain from external sources and allow the opinions of others to bring you down. This is something you can actually learn to ignore. How? By surrounding yourself with people that want the same thing as you. That see the same vision and desire the same outcome. They will be your encouragers. Ignore the nay-sayers and surround yourself with encouragers.

#Beingaleader means you have to endure pain. Be ready.